Everywhere I go

I have 20ish minutes left of class, that I am obviously not paying attention to, to write this entry.

After my last final at 8:30 in the damn morning for Enlightenment Cultural History I took off for Medford on the Greyhound for about 5 days. For those 5 days (Wednesday till Monday) I did a whole lot of nothing.  I got to see Val and John, which  whom I was very happy to see.  John and I did or normal routine of Wal-Mart and chatting.  I am very happy that he has finally found a kindred female spirit that is with in a 20 mile radius from him.  I worked at my Dad's grill for about an hour and a half.  Mom, Dad and I went garage selling on Saturday, I bought random stuff for my new flat.  Mom gave me a pasta dish set and a crock pot.  Also on Saturday my Dad's cousin, Frank, that he grew up with came all the way up to Oregon (on his way up to Montana), with his wife, Abby, from Tuscon, Arizona.  Abby and Frank are both teachers and so I got lots of usefull advice on what I should do.  On Sunday we went to Ashalnd (Val came with us) and Val and I hung with the fam for awhile, but broke off after awhile.  Val and I went to Lithia Park and she took pretty pictures of me.  I'll post some here...maybe.

On Monday Frank and Abby drve me up to Eugene and we talked a lot of teaching and what Ishould to prepare for my future and appling  with Teach for America.  When we got to Eugene we got lunch at Sakura and I gave them a tour of campus.  After they left for the coast I had an hour or so before I had to leave for work, and thus began my week.

I worked.  Everyday, Monday till Friday 11-3.  Now, because I take the bus its really 10-4.  Hot diggity damn.  I've been reading Stardust by Neil Gaiman and I am abotu half way through it.  I worked.  A lot.  Plus I have to go to Doug and Emilie's to water their plants and take care of Sandy the rat.  And I walk there and its about a good 25 to 30 minute walk, both ways.  Watering and Sandy time takes about 45 minutes.  Last week I wasn't getting home till 6ish.  We don't have internet right now so I would take a shower and go to the library to check up on stuff.  On Midsummer's Eve I fell asleep around 5:55 and woke up at 10.  I called other Aaron and we got some Muchas and I went back home and slept till 8 am.  I also saw 'Waitress' with other Aaron and its really cute and good.  Go see it.

Kevin, who is now moving to Australia, came to visit me on...Tuesday. We went to Muchas and Sweet Life.  We also went to Alton Baker where he bag piped for a little while and we chased gooses.

My Aaron was out of town all week.  I was all sorts of lonely.  Laila and Amjad moved out, and I have their old room. Natalie and Adam were gone all week.  Now they're back and Natalie moved a bunch of my stuff form my old room to my new one...In a slap dash, throw it all over the place fashion.  SO when I got home late last nite I had to deal with that and unpacking.

I spent the weekend in Portland.

(Its the next day)

I went with other Aaron, James, Jody and Jody to go see 'Can't Stop the Serenity', a fundraiser for Equality Now.  They showed 'Serenity' at the Hollywood Theatre and donated the procedes to Equality Now, Joss Whedon's favorite organization.  My Aaron picked me up and we hugged and kissed and it was wonderful to see him after a  week and a half.  We really didn't do much.  We went to bed late on Friday nite, after walking through is high school years via a memory box.  He got up at 7 am to take his car with his Mom to drop off his car so he could get new brakes.  He came back and made me the best breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and ham.  We later got his car and played at his old elementry school's playground for awhile.  He let me make a charecter on his WOW account.,  I am a Blood Elf preistess named Jacosta.  His parents took us out to dinner to a McMeninmans tucked away in the woods.  Aaron started to feel icky and he was dead tired.

Plans to hang out with Kevin and Eric fell through.

So.  I went to bed instead.

We left on Sunday, I got to to go tot he Body Shop.  We got back to Eugene, got Taco Bell, and I played WOW.

I sarted summer classes yesterday.  Geology 101 which I might not need to take.  Its at 8 am so I am really miserable.  8amClass and I have to go to work right afterwards then Doug and Emilie's house stuff...i don't get home till 6 pm.  It sucks.  I want it to stop.  We might be closing as soon as next week too.  We're expanding. If we do, and I don't ha to take this class I might be able to go to Medford again, but I am not sure.

Good God, I am tired.

I have decided, instead of studying for my 10:15 am final I am going to write an entry.  Possibly one of substance, so please, hold on tight and don't look down or to the side.

This term is almost over, but I still have a bit to do.  As my first term out of the dorms it was pretty much awesome.  I have now come to terms that I hated the dorms and RA life quite a bit.  Lately I have been having about housing and my staff.  They normally end in me bitching everyone out.  What my staff doesn't know is that I left because of them.  I felt like they treated me like shit and didn't give a damn about me.  I felt so out of place and ignored. I went to Carson countless times to find people that I liked and considered to be my friends eating together, yet they never thoguht to ask me.  Its little things like that...That really bother me.  I am a pretty sensitive, fragile, meekish kind of a person.  Not only that my boss was not relaly supportive of me at all.  But its in the past, there is really no need to dwell on any of it.

Apartment living is fine, sans the constant loud sex.

I like being a waitress.  Although I forgot to charge someone for their pot of tea today...But its only .95 and I told Bimb and she laughed and said it was ok.  Its pretty easy work, but just having to be rushrushrush all the time.  Sometimes I get a little behind and Kannika will remind me to bring a table wtaer and I want ot tell her that I was going to but someone decided to pay right when I went to get glasses for water.  Its not that I have forgotten, its just that someone else is commanding my time.

I have been wrestling with bouts of general lonliness here in Eugene.  I am a pretty social person, but my shyness overcomes my need for friends.  But laely I've been feeling so lonely for friendly contact that I've reduced myself to tears.  I feel just about the same as I did in high school.

In high school I always felt invisible and out of step with everyone else.  My senior year was a disaster because of the fact that I really didn't have acess to friends during the whole the school day.  I had Traceh, but we rarely saw each other over the course of the day.  Kim and I had our...moment in the winter.  I felt so lost with out my constant companions Eirc, Nick, and Kevin.  I would spend my lunches, open periods, and whatever time I had to occupy with doing something in the libary.  I would be on the Anime Online forums chatting it up with people of, obvious, simaler intrests.  I hated school, I hated my classes, over all I hated being there.  Even when Iwas in Teen Theatre I felt like an outcast.  Its sad even in a group of outcasts, people I thought I would grow so close to , ignored me.  I don't know what it is about me but I always get excluded one way or another.

So, yeah, I am lonely.  I am unsatisfied in the friend part of my life.  Mainly in the vein of strong female bonds, ehich I never really have been able to obtain and maintain well.

To combat all of these feelings, and being thr shy mouse I am, I turned to the only source that I could possibly find new friends.  I turned to Craigslist.  I actually met a really nice girl too.  I am going to call her B for now.  But we went to dinner last nite and chatted for two hours.  We don't nesscialry ave  alot in common, but we hit offf really well.  I reallly like her and I have intentions to call her when I get back from Meddy.

I get back my paper from Mideval history tomorrow, and my imatation project back on wednesday.  I just relaized this fact about hour ago, to my horror.  I hat ethe waiting game for papers I feel like I biffed.

I got a B on my last Enlightenment essay quiz thingy.  Go me.  Go slave revolt in Hati.

Summer plans thus far...I am goign to Meddy on Wednesday till Monday.  Then I work a shitload.  Then I go see Serenity in Portland with other Aaron.  Aaron moves in with me end of this month.  Then I go back to Portland to see Cameron, my childhood friend from Texas.  Hopefully he'll be able to meet Eric and Kevin.  We'll go to gay bars and have a gay ole' time.  Then more work and pet/plant sitting for the family that I babysit for.  Theeeen my geoloy class starts, 8 am sharp.  Inbetween class andnot going to class will be even more work till we close ot expand.  Then come my intensive German class.  More work when reopen.Then at the end of summer Aaron and I move into our cute apartment and decoarte it.

Nothing to outrageous.

I want to go to England this winter holiday with Aaron.

I am still thinking about studing in Japan, even though all I can say is that I am a history and anthropology major.  One of the lanaguge requirements is really lax and I fulfill it.  Go me.

But.  There will be a time that I will never have to study for  astupid final even again.

That I didn't study Kanji.

I talked to Eric instead.

I am really derpessed that my God Brother, Jeremy, getting assigned to being an infantry officer in the army.

My room is a mess.

I have a midterm on Wednesday...And Monday.

I did well on my oral exam.

And I happen to be in love.

The pictures under the cut were taken by my Darling Eric (red_antoid)

Thank you again Eric, I love it.  And I love you ^^

I went to my first Hamilton Staff meeting.  I meet my new CD, Kayla, who is a total sweetheart.

I saw Tony, a returning Hamilton RA, who I hung with before my round shadow, he once again said that we had to be Co's because we would get along great and we're both into diseases.  When I filled out my preferences I put down that Spiller and Clorian (Clorian's with Tony, Spiller is music) would be my two most tippy-top that choices that I would be so so so happy with :D

I have some fun people on my staff. I am so excited about next fall.  I will be counting the days until training.

In a half an hour it will only be 1 MONTH until my beloved Eric gets back from Japan.

Maybe a phone post soon :D

I go home in a little over a week.

I finally memorized my student ID number.

German is looking up.  Waaay up :D

Books, about 'juvenile' pursuits have been finding their way into my collection.  These books are:

A Witches' Bible
The 21 Lessons are Merlyn: A Study in Druid Magic and Lore
Green Witchcraft 2:  Balancing Light and Shadow

I have rediscovered my faith, although it was never really lost.  I have plans on doing a ritual for Litha (Midsummer), possibly some spell craft.  Dedication ritual also, possibly maybe this summer if I feel ready to do so.

Carly, caz_chan, sent me loverly jewelry from Scotland.  Stuff that I would never buy myself.  Hehehe!!!

stormcat sent me Lush!!!!  A tub of Almond Buttercream (you use it how...?)  She also sent me a massive Dreamtime melt, and samples of Honey I Washed the Kids and I Should Coco.  Can I send you something...Like earrings?  I make pretty earrings!

Going to quit my job.  I've never quit a job before.  Kinda exciting.  Especially quitting this crappy one.

I will be happy to leave Eugene and all of its energy behind for a few months.  Everything is muddled.  I will come back clearer and cleansed.  Possibly with a talisman charged against negative energies.  Goddess knows how much I am going to need it on rounds next fall.

Antsy in my pantsy...You would be too.

So much to look forward to.

I. Just. Can't. Wait.